Mark Twain

The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.

death


Mark Twain

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

age


Mark Twain

The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.

death


Mark Twain

When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

age


Mark Twain

Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired

love


Mark Twain

Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first

money


Mark Twain

It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare

courage


Mark Twain

Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.

books


Mark Twain

Classic' - a book which people praise and don't read.

books


Mark Twain

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

funny


Mark Twain

When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.

funny


Mark Twain

Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven.

humor


Mark Twain

Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.

humor


Mark Twain

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.


Mark Twain

Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.


Mark Twain

Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.


Mark Twain

Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.


Mark Twain

Great people are those who make others feel that they, too, can become great.


Mark Twain

The secret of getting ahead is getting started.


Mark Twain

Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.


Mark Twain

To get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.


Mark Twain

The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them.


Mark Twain

In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then He made School Boards.


Mark Twain

The Bible: It is full of interest. It has noble poetry in it; and some clever fables; and some blood-drenched history; and some good morals; and a wealth of obscenity; and upwards of a thousand lies.


Mark Twain

The man with a new idea is a Crank until the idea succeeds.


Mark Twain

There are many humorous things in the world; among them, the white man’s notion that he is less savage than the other savages.


Mark Twain

Man is the only animal that blushes, or needs to.


Mark Twain

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.


Mark Twain

The dictionary is the only place where success comes before work.


Mark Twain

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn´t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.


Mark Twain

Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.


Mark Twain

Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.


Mark Twain

Loyalty to country always. Loyalty to government, when it deserves it.


Mark Twain

If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.


Mark Twain

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man.


Mark Twain

The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer someone else up.


Mark Twain

April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four days.


Mark Twain

Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.


Mark Twain

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.


Mark Twain

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.


Mark Twain

I have a higher and grander standard of principle than George Washington. He could not lie; I can, but I won't.


Mark Twain

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.


Mark Twain

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.


Mark Twain

Write without pay until somebody offers to pay you. If nobody offers within three years, sawing wood is what you were intended for.


Mark Twain

Let us be thankful for the fools. Because of them the rest of us could not succeed.


Mark Twain

A room without books is like a body without a soul.


Mark Twain

The two most important days in your life are, the day you are born and the day you find out why.


Mark Twain

Plan for the future because that's where you are going to spend the rest of your life.


Mark Twain

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.


Mark Twain

A man's character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation.


Showing 1 to 50 of 141 Entries