Will Rogers

The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn’t get worse every time Congress meets

death

Will Rogers

The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself.

movies

Will Rogers

If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.

Will Rogers

Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.

Will Rogers

There are three kinds of men. The ones that learn by readin’. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.

Will Rogers

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

Will Rogers

Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.

Will Rogers

Diplomacy is the art of saying ‘nice doggie’ until you can find a rock.

Will Rogers

There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.

Will Rogers

When you find yourself in a hole, quit digging.

Will Rogers

A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people.

Will Rogers

Common sense ain't common.

Will Rogers

If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of Congress?

Will Rogers

I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

Will Rogers

The more you observe politics, the more you've got to admit that each party is worse than the other.

Will Rogers

Mona Lisa is the only beauty who went through history and retained her reputation.

Will Rogers

Things will get better - despite our efforts to improve them.

Will Rogers

I bet after seeing us, George Washington would sue us for calling him "father."

Will Rogers

Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

Will Rogers

I never met a man that I didn't like.

Will Rogers

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it in your back pocket.

Will Rogers

The difference between death and taxes is death doesn’t get worse every time Congress meets.

Will Rogers

No party is as bad as its leaders.

Will Rogers

Everybody is ignorant only on different subjects.

Will Rogers

Strangers are just friends I haven't met yet.

Will Rogers

Everything is changing. People are taking the comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.

Will Rogers

With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law, and every time they make a law it's a joke.

Will Rogers

I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago.

Will Rogers

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.

Will Rogers

The only way to beat the lawyers is to die with nothing.

Will Rogers

Liberty doesn’t work as well in practice as it does in speeches.

Will Rogers

You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.

Will Rogers

If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you're old.

Will Rogers

Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock.

art

Will Rogers

Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don't have for something they don't need.

art

Will Rogers

Do the best you can, and don't take life too serious.

best

Will Rogers

The worst thing that happens to you may be the best thing for you if you don't let it get the best of you.

best

Will Rogers

The best way out of a difficulty is through it.

best

Will Rogers

An economist's guess is liable to be as good as anybody else's.

business

Will Rogers

It's not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts.

business

Will Rogers

If you can build a business up big enough, it's respectable.

business

Will Rogers

We don't seem to be able to check crime, so why not legalize it and then tax it out of business?

business

Will Rogers

The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself.

business

Will Rogers

America is becoming so educated that ignorance will be a novelty. I will belong to the select few.

education

Will Rogers

The more that learn to read the less learn how to make a living. That's one thing about a little education. It spoils you for actual work. The more you know the more you think somebody owes you a living.

education

Will Rogers

There's only one thing that can kill the movies, and that's education.

education

Will Rogers

We will never have true civilization until we have learned to recognize the rights of others.

equality

Will Rogers

Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

experience

Will Rogers

So live that you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.

family

Will Rogers

I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat.

funny