You know the only people who are always sure about the proper way to raise children ? Those who’ve never had any.
I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody
You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything, even poverty, you can survive it.
I guess the real reason that my wife and I had children is the same reason that Napoleon had for invading Russia: it seemed like a good idea at the time.
No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I'm not talking about the kids. Their behavior is always normal.
In spite of the seven thousand books of expert advice, the right way to disciplne a child is still a mystery to most fathers and...mothers. Only your grandmother and Genghis Khan know how to do it.
Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don't believe the kids should be given homework.
Sigmund Freud once said, "What do women want?" The only thing I have learned in fifty-two years is that women want men to stop asking dumb questions like that.
Men and women belong to different species and communications between them is still in its infancy.
When you introduce competition into the public school system, most studies show that schools start to do better when they are competing for students.
If the new American father feels bewildered and even defeated, let him take comfort from the fact that whatever he does in any fathering situation has a fifty percent chance of being right.
You know the only people who are always sure about the proper way to raise children? Those who've never had any.
You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything, even poverty, you can survive it.
I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.
Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries.
The heart of marriage is memories and if the two of you happen to have the same ones and can savor your reruns, then your marriage is a gift from the gods.
Raising children is an incredibly hard and risky business in which no cumulative wisdom is gained: each generation repeats the mistakes the previous one made.
Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don't believe the kids should be given homework.
I cannot understand how the education of this United States of America has been fooled time and time again. Either make it separate but equal or integrate, therefore it will be equal. And it has been separate and unequal.
In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure.
I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.
The first-born in every family is always dreaming for an imaginary older brother or sister who will look out for them.
In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure.
People can be more forgiving than you can imagine. But you have to forgive yourself. Let go of what's bitter and move on.
Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.
There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God.
There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God.