W. C. Fields

Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch.

best


W. C. Fields

When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.

death


W. C. Fields

Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?

death


W. C. Fields

I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.

equality


W. C. Fields

Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink.

experience


W. C. Fields

All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.

family


W. C. Fields

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.

food


W. C. Fields

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

funny


W. C. Fields

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.

funny


W. C. Fields

I like children - fried.

funny


W. C. Fields

Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you've seen the devil.

great


W. C. Fields

I never worry about being driven to drink I just worry about being driven home.

home


W. C. Fields

When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.

hope


W. C. Fields

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

humor


W. C. Fields

Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.

life


W. C. Fields

Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink.

life


W. C. Fields

All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.

men


W. C. Fields

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.

money


W. C. Fields

It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.

money


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