Bill Maher

Suicide is man's way of telling God, 'You can't fire me - I quit.'

death


Bill Maher

This has been a learning experience for me. I also thought that privacy was something we were granted in the Constitution. I have learned from this when in fact the word privacy does not appear in the Constitution.

experience


Bill Maher

Men are only as loyal as their options.

funny


Bill Maher

Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.

funny


Bill Maher

Suicide is man's way of telling God, 'You can't fire me - I quit.'

god


Bill Maher

Let's face it God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?

god


Bill Maher

Religion, to me, is a bureaucracy between man and God that I don't need.

god


Bill Maher

Freedom isn't free. It shouldn't be a bragging point that 'Oh, I don't get involved in politics,' as if that makes someone cleaner. No, that makes you derelict of duty in a republic. Liars and panderers in government would have a much harder time of it if so many people didn't insist on their right to remain ignorant and blindly agreeable.

government


Bill Maher

I think capital punishment works great. Every killer you kill never kills again.

great


Bill Maher

If you think you have it tough, read history books.

history


Bill Maher

Things aren't right. If a burglar breaks into your home and you shoot him, he can sue you. For what, restraint of trade?

home


Bill Maher

The Clinton White House today said they would start to give national security and intelligence briefings to George Bush. I don't know how well this is working out. Today after the first one Bush said, 'I've got one question: What color is the red phone?"

intelligence


Bill Maher

This has been a learning experience for me. I also thought that privacy was something we were granted in the Constitution. I have learned from this when in fact the word privacy does not appear in the Constitution.

learning


Bill Maher

Whenever the people are for gay marriage or medical marijuana or assisted suicide, suddenly the 'will of the people' goes out the window.

marriage


Bill Maher

Whenever the people are for gay marriage or medical marijuana or assisted suicide, suddenly the 'will of the people' goes out the window.

medical


Bill Maher

Men are only as loyal as their options.

men


Bill Maher

Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.

men


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