I'm not materialistic. I believe in presents from the heart, like a drawing that a child does.
Handmade presents are scary because they reveal that you have too much free time.
Most of us can remember a time when a birthday - especially if it was one's own - brightened the world as if a second sun has risen.
I often buy myself presents. Sometimes I will spend $100,000 in one day in a posh boutique.
My biggest hero, Gregory Peck, was my birthday present on April 14, 1973. I just sat and stared at him.
The main prank that we play with props is for people's birthdays. The special effects people will put a little explosive in the cake so it blows up in their face - that's always fun to play on a guest star, or one of the trainees or someone who's new.
To my surprise, my 70s are nicer than my 60s and my 60s than my 50s, and I wouldn't wish my teens and 20s on my enemies.
I binge when I'm happy. When everything is going really well, every day is like I'm at a birthday party.
I used to be good with kids, but as I get older, I'm grumpy and terrible with them. As for doing a gig at a 6-year old's birthday party, you couldn't pay me enough.
I quit high school on my birthday. It was my senior year and I didn't see the point. This was 1962, and I was ready to make music.
I had a birthday one night on a farm we were shooting on. I walked into the tent, and there were 150 people waiting for me, all wearing masks of my face.
My mother asked me what I wanted for my birthday, so I said I wanted to read poetry with her.
I'm amazed. When I was 40, I thought I'd never make 50. And at 50 I thought the frosting on the cake would be 60. At 60, I was still going strong and enjoying everything.
When I was little I thought, isn't it nice that everybody celebrates on my birthday? Because it's July 4th.
This is a wonderful way to celebrate an 80th birthday... I wanted to be 65 again, but they wouldn't let me - Homeland Security.
I crashed my boyfriend's birthday when I was 12 years old. He didn't invite me and so I showed up.
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.
I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper. See, the paper I used said 'Happy Birthday' on it. I didn't want to waste it so I just wrote 'Jesus' on it.
Success is like reaching an important birthday and finding you're exactly the same.
With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.
It was my 16th birthday - my mom and dad gave me my Goya classical guitar that day. I sat down, wrote this song, and I just knew that that was the only thing I could ever really do - write songs and sing them to people.
You know, maybe I was just born in the wrong time, but I love all things romantic. Puffy understands that. For my last birthday, he covered my hotel room floor with rose petals and had flowers and candles all over the room.
Mum loves me being famous! She is so excited and proud, as she had me so young and couldn't support me, so I am living her dream, it's sweeter for both of us. It's her 40th birthday soon and I'm going to buy her 40 presents.
It's odd the things that people remember. Parents will arrange a birthday party, certain it will stick in your mind forever. You'll have a nice time, then two years later you'll be like, 'There was a pony there? Really? And a clown with one leg?'
Some people won't go the extra mile, and then on their birthday, when no one makes a fuss, they feel neglected and bitter.
You always get a special kick on opening day, no matter how many you go through. You look forward to it like a birthday party when you're a kid. You think something wonderful is going to happen.
I trained to be a priest - started to. I went to seminary school when I was 11. I wanted to be a priest, but when they told me I could never have sex, not even on my birthday, I changed my mind.
I gave a funny speech at my wife's birthday party, and I'm thinking, 'Hey, I've still got it.'
My ace in the hole as a human being used to be my capacity for remembering birthdays. I worked at it. Whenever I made a new friend, I made a point of finding out his or her birthday early on, and I would record it in my Filofax calendar.
I want a chainsaw very badly, because I think cutting down a tree would be unbelievably satisfying. I have asked for a chainsaw for my birthday, but I think I'll probably be given jewelry instead.