Every cloud has its silver lining but it is sometimes a little difficult to get it to the mint.
The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale.
I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you find yourself up there.
My mother was against me being an actress - until I introduced her to Frank Sinatra.
I'm thankful for the three ounce Ziploc bag, so that I have somewhere to put my savings.
Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch.
I'd never been in play long enough for the flowers to die in the dressing room.
I'm the only man in the world with a marriage licence made out to whom it may concern.
Someone told me that when they go to Vermont, they feel like they're home. I'm that way at Saks.
Trust is hard to come by. That's why my circle is small and tight. I'm kind of funny about making new friends.
I was asked to act when I couldn't act. I was asked to sing 'Funny Face' when I couldn't sing, and dance with Fred Astaire when I couldn't dance - and do all kinds of things I wasn't prepared for. Then I tried like mad to cope with it.
There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God.
Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.
It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married.
You know, fame is a funny thing, man, especially, you know, actors, musicians, rappers, rock singers, it's kind of a lifestyle and it's easy to get caught up in it - you go to bars, you go to clubs, everyone's doing a certain thing... It's tough.
Design is a funny word. Some people think design means how it looks. But of course, if you dig deeper, it's really how it works.
It's a funny thing about life if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it.
But you can't focus on things that matter if all you've been is asleep for forty years. Funny how sleep rhymes with sheep. You know.
I saw 28 Days. I don't remember rehab being like a day camp or being that funny. Rehab is a dumping ground. It's a big landfill.
It's funny the way most people love the dead. Once you are dead, you are made for life.
The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' but 'That's funny...'
If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress.
Why is Cloud 9 so amazing? What is wrong with Cloud 8? That joke came off the top of my head, and the top of my head ain't funny!